When you attend a talk on the subject of stress, or -- in this case -- read a summary article about it, the last thing you want to hear is that we’re living in uncertain times, how chronic stress can be damaging to your health, or all the things you should be doing to reduce that stress. That commentary would likely stress you out even more. As a practitioner certified in applied positive psychology, I take a different approach. I teach the neurobiology of stress because it empowers you to break free from the vicious cycle of chronic stress and, over time, become less likely to get triggered in the first place. I’ve found that when clients understand the science of stress, they don’t have to rely on sheer willpower to find major blocks of time to squeeze in more activities; instead they see that even minor shifts, in how they do everyday activities, can bring about significant change. To begin, there’s an important distinction to be made - not all stress is created equal. Stress is a natural, biological response evolutionarily hardwired in our bodies to help us to rise to the challenge and respond to a threat. It’s the fight-or-flight reaction automatically triggered by our brain that releases adrenaline and cortisol into our bloodstream making us stronger, more focused, and extra motivated, thereby increasing our chances of survival. Anxiety, on the other hand, is the emotional reaction we have when we feel threatened. In a way, it's stress gone awry, because anxiety ensues when we continually ruminate about the past or frequently worry about the future, long after the actual stressor is gone. Since our brains can’t distinguish between a real physical threat and a perceived emotional one, they both result in the same fight-or-flight response. When we’re anxious all the time, our bodies get stuck in chronic stress, and this constant flooding of cortisol is what leads to negative health outcomes. Worse yet, the more anxiety we feel, the more likely we are to get triggered into stress – a vicious, negative cycle. Most stress-reduction strategies, such as exercise, yoga, and mediation, work by activating, stimulating, or toning our autonomic nervous system to help us override our default fight-or-flight response. In other words, they are actions we can take to manually switch on the rest-and-restore branch of our nervous system and give our bodies the opportunity to recover. Sign up to receive SPARKS My Newsletter for Women Navigating Midlife Thank you!Your subscription to our list has been confirmed. Alison Deutsch Coaching Interventions fall into three major categories:
With an understanding of how stress works in our body and why stress-reducing strategies work - you can start to notice the infinite possibilities available to introduce islands of sanity throughout your day. Here are some examples of small changes to existing activities that have been proven to lower anxiety. Practice deep breathing throughout the day – sitting at the computer, stopped at a traffic light, or even while on the throne are great times to pause, and mindfully relax. Taking three, deep, slow breaths that originate from the belly -- with your exhale being twice as long as your inhale, -- signals your brain that you are safe -- and toggles your nervous system into rest-and-restore mode. Turn your shower or car ride into a mental gym by humming, singing, or chanting which stimulates, and ultimately tones the vagus nerve that’s connected to your vocal chords. Stop multi-tasking by focusing your attention on what you are doing – be it preparing dinner, doing the laundry, or writing a report – and then refocus your attention gently whenever you notice your mind beginning to stray. While formal meditation - between 3-5 minutes a day - is best, there are numerous opportunities to practice informal mindfulness throughout your day. Stress is a fact of life; none of us is immune. While you can’t always change our outer world, there are many things you can do to gain more inner peace. With knowledge of the neurobiology of stress, you have the opportunity to craft your days so as to incorporate these small shifts and break free of the vicious cycle of chronic stress – without adding one more item to your already overflowing plate. Aha! Stress isn’t the problem, it’s lack of recovery.
Tool Kit
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Stress is a fact of life; none of us are immune. When life feels overwhelming, sometimes the only thing we can control is our perception of stress. Which, as it turns out, is a good thing - research has shown that how we think about stress determines how it affects our health and happiness. Consider how you view stressful situations. Do you see them as blocking or enhancing your learning, growth, and productivity? Do you believe stress worsens or improves your health and your levels of happiness? Stanford psychologist Kelly McGonigal has found:
When we embrace stress and see it as enhancing we are more satisfied, healthy, productive and happy and have greater confidence in our ability to cope with life challenges.
We can switch our mindset to make stress work for us; here are a few ways to get started.
Think of Stress as a Signal Something You Care About is at Stake When you’re triggered into stress, understand that it’s not a sign you’re inadequate to face the challenges in life or that there’s something wrong with you. The anxiety, disappointment or sadness you feel might be an indication of how much you care and that what happened is inconsistent with your goals and values. Taking time to reflect on the deeper meaning of the signal can help you to move from destructive thoughts like “I’m not cut out to be a parent” or “This project is too much for me” to a constructive internal dialogue like: “OK, I’m angry right now and I’m overwhelmed because something I care about is at stake. Now what do I want to do about that?” For example, if you feel like you’re in a bad place and you care about your health you might decide to practice self-care. Or a stressful conversation might embolden you to stand up for yourself or apologize to someone because relationships matter. Sign up to receive SPARKS My Newsletter for Women Navigating Midlife Thank you!Your subscription to our list has been confirmed. Alison Deutsch Coaching Consider How The Stressful Situation is Connected to Something Meaningful Say, for example, that you’re caring for an aging parent. You can reframe your stress by thinking about the importance of the bond with your parent and how your loving relationship makes you want to take care of them rather than send them to a nursing home. Shift to a Big Picture Perspective See how your stressful situation is part of the human condition rather than unique to some choice that you made or some personal character flaw. When we stop ruminating about our own stories and broaden our perspective to think about who else is in the situation is struggling we feel less isolated. We can even start to use our own struggles as a catalyst for helping others. Transform Pre-performance Anxiety into Peak Performance Energy* Anxiety that appears in our mind and the sensations of our body that come before a meaningful event are perfectly normal. For example, when you are up in the front of the room at the start of a big presentation and your heart starts pounding, your mouth goes dry, and your brain goes momentarily blank from the rush of adrenaline pumping through your veins know that there is nothing wrong with you. It happens to everyone. Instead of thinking I’m so nervous, I can’t do this, I’m going to fail, you can reframe it by saying to yourself I’m excited about this presentation and this is just my body’s way to raise my energy level to prepare me to meet the challenge. When we perpetuate the mindset that stress is harmful, it’s more likely to be harmful. Reclaiming stress as a helpful resource allows us to change the way we think about, respond to, and use it as a catalyst for positive action, learning and growth.
Aha!
When you change your mind about stress, you can change your body’s response to it.
Tool Kit
Listen to my conversation with Stacie Speaker about Keeping Cool Under Pressure to learn strategies to transform pre-performance anxiety into energy that drives peak performance. |
Alison DeutschBased on her unique life experiences, and certifications in the science of positive psychology and the art of life coaching, Alison offers practical wisdom that helps women navigate midlife transitions with clarity and confidence. www.alisondeutsch.com Archives
October 2018
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